With the Red Sox season (mercifully) nearing its end, yes indeed, I am ready for some football! And you know what that means? It means time to put my pigskin prognosticating prowess back on display. Prepare to be awed.
This season starts, as does every season, with all 32 teams having an equal shot at glory–at least in their fan’s dreams. As of this moment, my beloved Buccaneers have the same sixteen game path in front of them as the defending champion Seahawks. Piece of cake.
But this season presents challenges before it even starts. Just ask the professional football team located in Washington DC. Many refuse to refer to them by their nickname as it is politically incorrect. God forbid we do anything politically incorrect in the town that houses our nation’s politicos. Maybe that could be the team’s new name–the Washington Idiots! I like it. Their mascot could be … take your pick.
And if the Washington team’s name is offensive, what about others? How long before the Chiefs in Kansas City feel the heat? Even my Buccaneers–certainly there is a group of pirates out there angered and offended! From now on, perhaps, it should be the Tampa Bay Seagoing Entrepreneurs! Giants–the New York Talls? Vikings–the Minnesota Norse? Cowboys–the Dallas Ranchers (see, not gender specific).
You didn’t come here for my politics. You came for my picks. And smart you are, Cookie, for I am the pigskin prophet! (I know, it was pigskin preacher, but I’ve given myself a promotion.) Next year, potentate? Take note. Here are your hit-no-miss picks for the opening week of this NFL season: Seahawks over Packers, Saints over Falcons, Bengals over Ravens, Bears over Bills, Texans over Native Americans, Chiefs over Titans, Patriots over Dolphins, Jets over Raiders, Eagles over Jaguars, Steelers over Browns, Vikings over Rams, Cowboys over 49ers, Bucs over Panthers, Broncos over Colts, Lions over Giants, Chargers over Cardinals.