All Is Right!

vince_leapA respectable 12-4 for Week 3. Whew! I was starting to wonder if I’d lost my juice. All is right again in my pigskin prognosticating world. Now if only the brakes hadn’t failed on my pick-up truck! You know she was running great, she just wouldn’t stop.

Neither will my success, I tell you. I’m on a roll, baby! Speaking of rolls, did you see Vince Wilfork’s interception against the Raiders? He flew through the air with the greatest of ease. His teammate Rob Ninkovich said, “I looked up and saw a low flying wide-bodied aircraft over me with the number 75 on it’s belly!” Yeah you did. And your life flashed before your eyes, too. [Note: the picture captures the fleet ‘Fork just before landing.]

It’s a good thing that the Pats defense is flying, because Tom Brady and the offense appear grounded. You have to know it’s an early-season thing and they’ll get it in sync, but a couple more games like that last one and fans will be calling for Janeane Garofalo. What? Isn’t that the back-up QB’s name?

Woe is me, however, where the plight of my 0-3 Buccaneers is concerned. Fresh off the biggest beatdown since the lowly Leeman Bennett years, they get to face the Steelers. Oh joy! Our fill-in offensive coordinator (who I think just graduated high school in May) gets to match wits with the venerable Dick LeBeau. I’m going to pray extra hard. I’m gonna remind God that half the Bucs’ roster are Christians. Please, Jesus?

Talking about bad– how about the Raiders? They are so hard to watch the NFL banished them from the continent this week.

Here are my ‘God-save-the-Queen-and-while-You’re-at-it-bless-my-Bucs’ picks for Week Four? Native Americans over Giants (sorry Sarah), Panthers over Ravens, Packers over Bears, Bills over Texans, Colts over Titans, Lions over Jets, Fish over Chips (trans: Dolphins over Raiders), Steelers over Bucs, Chargers over Jaguars, Falcons over Vikings, Niners over Eagles, Saints over Cowboys, Patriots over Chiefs.

And before you write to correct me, I do realize that Dolphins are mammals and not fish. Work with me here; the gag falls apart if I say Mammals over Chips.