Oh! The agony! My Buccos were oh-so-close to pulling off the win in New Orleans. But that’s not what ails me today. It’s that I was one game away from a perfect slate for the week! ONE GAME! And, knowing me as you do–which NFL team spoiled it for me? Of course, the Buffalo Bills! The Bills found a way to win and sent me to a 14-1 slate. The Bills–the NFL’s closest thing to a Canadian Football League team. The Bills–they of 4 straight Super Bowl losses, years (and years) of futility since, and … they had J.P. Losman (pronounced LOSS-man) as their QB for crying out loud! The Bills!
Nevertheless, a pro like me has to move on. There are bigger story lines. In New York, Rex Ryan has that Green Mile look about him. His statement, “Geno Smith is our starting QB” may as well have been prompted by the question, “Do you have any last words?” And now there is news out that Michael Vick failed to seize the starting role because he hasn’t taken practice snaps seriously. He’s in the coach’s doghouse. This is Michael Vick we’re talking about, right?
In Oakland, the Tony Soprano era began with a bye week. That was time enough for Derek Carr to heal … and for Matt Schaub to disappear. No seriously, he was last seen getting into a black sedan … nothing since. When asked about it, Coach Sopano said, “You a wise guy? You ask a lotta questions!” That reporter, by the way … ?
Oh and this just in … the Patriots are back! Just ask the Bengals. And this week they get … wait for it … the Saskatchewan Bills!
I know why you’ve come, however. It’s for the picks. The Pigskin Pontiff types, and you run to the water-cooler to amaze your friends with your pigskin prognosticating prowess. 14-1 last week–you’re a celeb! SO without further ado, let me find my pointed hat and dish out my ‘say-five-hail-Marys-and-keep-Michael-away-from-the-dogs’ picks for Week Six: Colts over Texans, Steelers over Browns, Patriots over the Canucks, Bengals over Panthers, Titans over Jags, Packers over Dolphins, Lions over Vikings, Broncos over Jets, Bucs over Ravens, Chargers over the Mob, Falcons over Bears, Seahawks over C’Boys, Cards over Native Americans, Giants over Eagles, 49ers over Rams.