Closing In On Number One

Yes, my Bucs are in the driver’s seat for the number one pick in the 2015 NFL Draft. So it’s a coin-flip: Heisman winner 2014 or Heisman winner 2013? The Bucs can’t go wrong, can they? Let me count the ways!

1) The could win. I know it’s a long shot, but a win in either of these last two weeks could botch the plan. We need the Bucs to be the Yucs two more Sundays.

2) They could lose out, get the number one pick and … trade it away to Chicago for Jay Cutler. You think I’m kidding. Lovie Smith, Jay Cutler, loyalty, friendship … we’ve seen it before (clears throat … Josh McCown). If I were a betting man, I’d bet we see Cutler in pewter. Mark my words.

3) They could get the pick, choose Jameis Winston (Heisman ’13) and … see him arrested before he ever hits the field for the Bucs.

Well, let’s leave my Buccos and their problems go. As we say in Buccaneer circles, “There’s always next year. And the decade after that.”

This week, I’m locked in! Here are the “season-coming-to-an-end-coaches-heads-gonna-roll” picks for week 16: Jaguars over Titans (now there’s a meaningful game, eh?); Eagles over Native Americans; Chargers over Niners; Panthers over Browns; Lions over Bears; Ravens over Texans; Dolphins over Vikings; Falcons over Saints (and yes, that means a below .500 NFC South champ!); Patriots over Jets (see ya Rex!); Steelers over Chiefs; Packers over Bucs (that a way boys!); Giants over Rams; Cowboys over Colts; Bills over Raiders; Seahawks over Cards; Broncos over Bengals.