The 2026 NFL Season is upon us. You know what that means?
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me
We pillage plunder, we rifle and loot
Drink up me hearties, yo ho
We kidnap and ravage and don’t give a hoot
Drink up me hearties, yo ho
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me
FIRE THEM CANNONS!
It also means I am one happy curmudgeon!
LET’S GO BUCS!
Long ago, when I was a young curmudgeon (back when blogging was a thing and I still had a full head of hair), I was the official NFL and Tampa Bay Buccaneers blogger for a very large Tampa Bay publication. The Pigskin Preacher, they called me.
My blog posts were wisdom-laden homilies; my weekly prognostications were prophetic declarations; my congregation grew wildly expansive … and then the literary world went dark.
A little thing they called “micro-blogging,” (social media) and the advent of the “podcast” (social media meets reality tv) spelled death to literary journalism.
In the blink of an eye (or the span of a New York Jets win streak), words in paragraph form with punctuation gave way to acronyms (SMH) and emojis (💩).
I say, RAISE THE FLAGS!
We extort and pilfer, we filch and sack
Drink up me hearties, yo ho
Maraud and embezzle and even hijack
Drink up me hearties, yo ho
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me
Alas, here at DarinMichaelShaw.com, we believe in words! Real words. Paragraphs and punctuation. Blog posts. Essays. Poems. Stories. Books. The great lost arts of prose, dialogue, and conversation have risen from Davy Jones Locker! Hear Ye! Hear Ye! Drink up me hearties, Yo Ho!
The kickoff of a new season has compelled me, your Reluctant Island Curmudgeon (the blogger formerly known as the Pigskin Preacher) to pick up the mantle, sharpen my blade, and pull the cork once more.
It’s a pirate’s life for me. No promise of a weekly column. We’ll sail when the winds favor, and our victims least expect us! your And today, on the eve of the Buccaneers’ season opener, it’s time we Drink up me hearties!
We pillage plunder, we rifle and loot
Drink up me hearties, yo ho
We kidnap and ravage and don’t give a hoot
Drink up me hearties, yo ho
We’re sailing into Cincy this week. There are riches to plunder—kids named Burrow, Chase, and Higgins.
I’m predicting … a dozen wings, mango habanero, and RUM!
Oh, and a Buccaneer win in Cincy. Sorry, not sorry, Bengals fans. FIRE THEM CANNONS!
We kindle and char and in flame and ignite
Drink up me hearties, yo ho
We burn up the city, we’re really a fright
Drink up me hearties, yo ho
My “Take it to the Bank”Prop Bets for Week One
Prop Bet #1: Whomever they interview after the game, the player will mention Jesus. Growing numbers of NFL players (and pro athletes in general) are speaking out about their faith these days. Take it to the bank: Bet on Jesus for the win … no matter who wins the game you’re watching.
Prop Bet #2: Take the Over. Over/Under on Buccaneer wins for the season is 8.5. We’re going double digit wins this year, my friends. Mark my words. Keep your powder dry. And buy more RUM!
Prop Bet #3: The Miami Dolphins are on the clock. Although I bleed pewter, red, and creamsicle orange, being a Floridian, I naturally wish good fortune for my ‘original’ state team. Kills me to say it but, the Dolphins are a dumpster fire this season. I was a 5-year-old Dolphin fanatic in ’72 when they had their perfect season. Could this year’s achievement be their becoming the only franchise in sports history to have both a perfect winning and a perfectly winless season to their name? The odds are … ever in their favor. I’ll go this far: bank on them winning the race for next year’s first draft pick hands down.
The Picks Are In
Injuries, of course, can derail the best of prognostications. Barring any devastating losses to the IR, look for these teams to rise to the top in their respective divisions by season’s end: Bills, Ravens, Colts, Broncos, Cowboys (no, I’m not kidding), Bears, Buccaneers, Seahawks.
If I were forced to make a way-too-early-to-tell Super Bowl pick, of course from the NFC, it’ll be my Tampa Bay Buccaneers sailing into SoFi Stadium for the trophy.
Hey Hey Tampa Bay! The Bucs Know How to Shine!
Give a cheer for the Buccaneers, GO BUCS!
On that day, from the AFC, the Denver Broncos walk the plank!
In semi-pro games this Saturday (the sport formerly known as college football), Ohio State over Texas, and an upset special, Michigan over Oklahoma. Our Florida teams, bet on both the Gators and Knights winning. (The ‘Canes won a close one, 77-7, on Thursday night and the Seminoles are off for the weekend to lick their wounds.)
Enjoy the games. FOOTBALL IS BACK!
And of course … drink up me hearties, yo ho!
