Author: darin

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Techniques to Cure Wordiness

darin

Earlier posts in this series I’ve tackled redundant modifiers, redundant word pairings, and hedges and intensifiers. Have you mastered those tips?

My latest entry in this Techniques to Cure Wordiness series is one a majority of writers can benefit from—this is rock-solid advice, right here: Replace wordy expressions with single words.

 Smarter guys than me have said as much—

The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.   –Thomas Jefferson

You know wordy expressions. Phrases like: Due to the fact that … In the amount of … Until such a time as … On a daily basis … In this day and age … In the course of time … In the event that … In close proximity to … He is a man who … She is a woman who … Of the understanding … With the exception of … and I could go on and on.

These wordy phrases don’t add to your writing. They detract. grammar man

Are you ready for this? Say those things much more effectively using single words: Because … for … until … daily … today … during … if … near … he … she … understand … except.

To improve your storytelling, being less wordy in simple narration will afford you the luxury of being intentionally wordy where descriptions are concerned. You know that old admonition, show don’t tell? When you are describing person, place or thing, let verbosity ride! Grab a dictionary and thesaurus! You want your reader meet the person, enter the place, and handle the thing—so the best way to do that is in showing. Use words. The more, the better.

And smarter guys have weighed in on this, too—

Don’t say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream. –Mark Twain

I’m sure we will visit more on show don’t tell later in this series. Until such a time as we do  Meanwhile …

In your simple narration, if you want to say because, just say because. If you want to say today, say today. Your readers will thank you.

All the stuff what I like.

Influential II

darin

Continuing this series … eh hem … trip down memory lane.

What were the most influential albums I listened to growing up? Which ones made an indelible impression on me? Which would I recommend to others as “musts” from days-gone-by? My personal top ten, in no particular order–

Post two of ten: Boston

It was the summer of 1976. I was nine. And you’d find me out in our backyard, running around in red, white and blue shorts and t-shirt, clearing make-believe hurdles and throwing makeshift javelins and shot-puts, emulating the hero of the Summer Games, Bruce Jenner.

Then the whole world changed. And I’m not talking about Bruce becoming Caitlyn.

I’m talking about the first time I laid eyes on Boston’s debut album, simply titled Boston. That artwork–do you remember it? For 1976, it was far out. A fire breathing guitar spaceship. You knew from looking at the cover … this wasn’t Mom and Dad’s Roger Whitaker record! BostonBoston

Then … that sound! If you experienced it in 1976, you remember that unique distortion sound Tom Scholz crafted. To this point, the world hadn’t heard anything like it.

The album opened with More Than A Feeling. And you knew immediately it was more than a feeling–this was special. The acoustic open to the electric melody … and then the harmony solos. Mind blowing.

And Brad Delp’s voice. To this day, forty-plus years on, that voice is still perhaps the best I’ve ever heard in rock-n-roll. So distinct. Peace of Mind followed. Another amazing tune. No drop off.

sibBy this point, I’d flipped the album cover over. Do you know the very first thought that crossed my mind? No lie–I saw the dude in the middle with the big afro, Sib. I immediately thought, ‘That dude is the drummer.’ And of course, I was right. That’s what a 70s rock-n-roll drummer should look like, right?

Then Foreplay/Long Time started. Oh my! Nearly eight minutes. Foreplay was like a twisted carnival intro. That organ sound was almost haunted-house music. Foreplay ended … and that Long Time guitar melody screamed to life.

Then you flipped the vinyl. Side two was every bit as amazing as side one. There isn’t a let-down song on the record. Boston was the first album I remember playing all the way, first song to last. It was almost like you had to play them in order–they unfolded into each other.

Honestly, looking back, Boston ended my fascination with Bruce Jenner and the decathlon. I traded in my pretend javelins and shot-puts for air-guitar and drums. I wanted an afro like Sib.

Here’s the cool thing to me, looking back. Although the eighties brought more unique guitar sounds and guitar greats, there’s still never been a sound quite like it. Admit it, if you know rock-n-roll, you can pick Tom Scholz’s guitar sound out anywhere.

Never heard this album before? A great pair of noise-cancelling headphones are a must. This one will spin your head around.